two days ago i realized i am becoming american. because being american is the way of life... yes, the piligrims who reached the shores of what they called new england were refugees of religion, but it is not only about values. or not any longer. today beeing american is a distinct way of being in the world... of your attitude to what you do, freud would complement, unconscious attitude. first thing was that i noticed myself not picking up the phone. hearing it ringing, i don't mind and continue what i am doing, it doesn't annoy me, it doesn't even distract me... from staring at the screan or deep down in my thousands pages of copied papers... john told me that americans always do that... that they are too busy to talk to anyone. that he got used to when people don't answer his calls... it's a signal that someone is busy... and don't think you are that important that they should bother... but... i didn't mean it... i didn't even check who was calling... john was laughing at me... "you are becoming american, that's how it is", he said... after that i was determined "not to become that american" and have been answering all the calls ever since... but it is hard, damn it is... it is difficult to resist americanness:) the next thing, however, is time. i don't distinguish between day and night anymore... i sleep in the evening, wake up before midnight and continue reading till morning, then have a nap and go to school... or sleep an hour after classes... and read again... crazy... always tired and always having so much to do still... working... lenin would be happy to hear that everyone obeys principles of education... however, i don't feel lonely, as most of my friends at the anthropology department look as bad as me:) especially on thursdays... ghosts of bodies who were once human beings...



anyway, weekend is a gateway of escape. i went to sleep at eight on friday night, or was it still evening... and today with uli we headed to the isso's (international students and scholars' office at brandeis) foliage tour down the essex river to the atlantic... very touristic, very cold, but very cool to get out there, to see the birds and the seal... to breathe some fresh air... to see the horizon... to have some video for my enclosed dreams:) i did get wet, i did lose the cover of my great sony alpha... and i did buy some honey expecting to get ill... at russel's orchard full of apples and pumpkins which we decided not to buy for our (uli is born on 31 october, the same as me... or, more correctly, i was born on the same day as he, as he is one year older:)) - halloween birthday party... we'll do that later... my homemade honey is now safe in the cupboard, awaiting still colder days in this unpredictable climate of massachusetts.





more photos... http://picasaweb.google.com/ieva.jusionyte/EssexRiverCruise

Nice pictures, miss Americana :)
But please don't become a ghost completely.. I still want to see you someday!